The side of mom that I never saw before

In order to know what is exactly the side of her I never saw before. You need to know how I always see my Mama.

She is a very strong woman, I guess that how we all see/tend to see our mothers, but she has this contrast in her character that I never actually fully understood. She can move mountains if she wants, however some other times she can’t just go from one place to another alone.

Seven years ago, my dad had cancer, colon cancer. I was in my first year in college, my brother was in high school I guess, so basically we were young, inexperienced and kinda lost. We weren’t responsible enough back then so she actually carried the weight all alone until we started to understand and digest that we have cancer at home. It took time before my dad thankfully survived, surgery, doctor & lab visits, late night doctors call. She has literally dealt with this all alone as strong as the strongest thing you can ever imagine.

She is a house wife, she has no work experience at all, being the youngest daughter in the family, having lost her dad at very young age, she was the most pampered of them all. She graduated years later got married to my father and that is it. Her life is just centered on her family, with few friends around she has nothing to do but us. Her business is taking care of us.

So with time passing, us growing old, having our own life outside the house, away from her.

Her life changed, we try as much as we can to keep her engaged in our lives  but still by the end of the day she spends most of the time alone. Recently, I have realized that she is becoming more afraid of this, of sitting alone at home. Turning all the lights on, locking the door, nonstop phone calls with anyone just to avoid the feeling of loneliness and to get over this fear. I have seen it, unfortunately and she breaks my heart, having no other alternatives in hand is killing me. She is weak now, age is leaving its effect on her; she is sick we have spent this year almost in hospitals, hence she physically needs extra care, emotionally too.

It breaks my heart when I see her alone knowing she is afraid inside. Seeing the strong woman who raised me up and used to do everything with energy and didn’t mind doing anything alone with this fear right now is a killer.

If only I can go back in time where life was simpler and she was stronger and I was able to be around her more.

Time is my enemy. It is taking away like as we know an we can’t just stop it.

If you are reading this send some positive vibes our way, we can use some. xo

 

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Inspirational talks #101 – Jay Shetty

I have came across this inspirational video couple of months ago, and I can’t get it off my mind. It simply explains the world we are living at, and how can we take a step forward and make a change.

So I wanted it to share it today, and hope you can find this message inspiring to you as it is to me and start making a difference.

” Albert Einstein famously remarked in a conversation with Werner Heisenberg, he said ” you know in the west we’ve built a beautiful ship, and in it it has all the comforts. But actually the one thing it doesn’t have is a compass and that’s why it doesn’t know where it is going.”

This paradox of our times was propounded by the Dalai Lama when he said ” we have wider freeways but narrower viewpoints, we have taller buildings but shorter tempers.”

Will Smith said that we spend money we haven’t earned on things we don’t need to impress people we don’t like. And it is phenomenal how the same technology that brings us close to those who are far away, takes us far away from the people that are actually close.

30 billion whatsapp messages are sent per day, but 48% of people said that they feel lonelier in general.

The paradox of our times is that we have more degrees but less sense. More knowledge but less judgements. More experts but less solutions.

It was Martin Luther King who said that the irony of our time is that we have guided missiles but misguided men. Have you ever found it perplexing that we’ve been all the way to the moon and back but we struggle to start a conversation across the road or across the train?

And it’s amazing that Bill Gates was known as the top earner of 2015 with a wealth of 79.2 billion USD but one in four CEOs claim to be struggling from depression.

Do we actually thrive off this paradox?Is it that this paradox actually makes the media interesting , its what makes journalism interesting, it’s what makes politics interesting, it’s what makes television interesting. Is this paradox actually what we feed off and what we live off and what we talk about and discuss on our circles?

Doesn’t it seem that we’ve tried to clean up the air but polluted our soul, we’ve split the atom but our prejudice, and we are aiming for high incomes but lower morals.

So I am hearing you ask, how do we bring a change? How do we dissect this paradox that exists in our lives? And it starts by us, each of us pressing pause, pressing reset, and then pressing play again. Taking a moment to become more conscious, taking a moment to become more aware, taking a moment to really reflect on the consequence, the implications of a misplaced word of an unnecessary argument that we all know we didn’t need to have, or to speak to someone just slightly differently in a different tone, in a different voice, in a different empathy, with a different perspective. Just to really connect with people on a different level. This, thinking out loud, started from Albert Einstein and I’ll track back to him when he actually said that the problems we have today cannot be solved with the same thinking that we used when we once created them.

So actually we need to research alternative teachings. We need to deep down dig into those ancient books of wisdom.We need to go back to understanding if there’s anything written in those creased pages of time that can actually reveal more knowledge and more wisdom of how can we transform our experience of life today. Otherwise this paradox means that every step we forward we take we’re taking three backwards every time.

Powerful words indeed. Here is the link to this Episode of street philosophy . And here is the link for Jay Shetty’s channel, so that you can enjoy more of these inspirational videos.

Live fully,